You can tell that's a hastily-set-up photo, because I've smeared my lipstick, and some of it is on my front teeth. But I knew I couldn't replicate that precise manic expression, and so you must live with this one-and-only take - unvarnished, un-Photoshopped - but true and honest.
The subject of the photo is not me, but the new blue Colourworks kitchen timer I had bought at Austen's Home
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